Posts Tagged ‘romance’

Intro: Here’s another I’m drawing from ancient archives in honor of today’s Fairy Oracle, Romantic Partner. Again, I admit and openly know that the writing itself kinda sucks (although I am fond of a few lines)… the flow and meter are off, the punctuation is painful, but I’m choosing NOT to edit at this point because the whole purpose of “The Road Home” is to accept and appreciate all of my parts and my past, even the un-polished bits.

“Could This Be Love?”
Written by:
Wendi Friend

To love nature is easy
Just give in to the seasonal flow
Winds can be wild or light and breezy
While rain and sun cause things to grow
But the trees don’t complain
When the weather’s too cold
Nor do they explain
How they feel as they grow old
And though each winter life faces death
Winter exhales living spring’s breath
To love nature is easy

To love children is simple
Just tune in to their laughter
Appreciate their smile’s dimple
And believe in their happily ever after
Honor a child’s innocence and joy
At the simple things around them
They’ll play with the box before the toy
A child’s heart is a gem.
Children love with no conditions
Children openly trust
They have no hidden agenda or missions
Imaginations are robust.
To love children is simple

To love animals is effortless
Those joyful, loyal pets
Who will love you if you’re penniless
And up to your arse in debts
They cuddle without confining
They don’t hog the covers in bed
They don’t require fine dining
And let you know they love you
–without a word ever being said
They are always happy to see you
When you walk through your door
Their love is deep and real and true
They don’t hold grudges
–over things that happened before
To love animals is effortless

To love career is driving
Inspiration lights a fire
Pulse rate up and mind is thriving
Heart is pumping with desire
Everyone wants to be a success
And increase the cash they bank
Because without it you’re helpless-
just a third-class passenger
–on a boat that already sank
We want intelligence and high-class status
So we harness our tools and trade
We maneuver our chosen apparatus
And lead the employment parade
Regardless of the field one chooses
If the passion is right and ripe
One who aggresses never loses
If they’re the career lovin’ type
To love a career is driving

But to love another human
Dear Goddess, the implications
What’s done will never be undone
Regarding intimate relations
Yet still we search and hope to find
A perfect willing match
With a strong, loving heart and powerful mind
To which we can attach
Because alone we feel like half of a whole
And feel like something’s missing –
Like somewhere there exists a twin to our soul
With whom we should be reminiscing
About the good old days back when
In a life more open and free
Before the separation began
When there was unity
And so we find familiar faces
That we think might be lost love
We cling to even the slightest traces
Of that old familiar glove
Only to find we’d made an error
And the glove tried on just doesn’t fit
And all your dreams shatter in terror
And you feel like it’s time you finally quit
Searching for something that can’t be real
For something you’ll never find
For something that will always be surreal
And a figment of your disillusioned mind
But just when you accept this as true
And you give up on the chase
You meet someone who reminds you of you…
Who has a familiar face…

And you wonder…

Could this be love?

(Here we go again!)

Read Full Post »

Intro: This was written long ago, around 2000/2001. I remember when, where, and why I wrote it. The punctuation, grammar, and style in this one really stink… and I’m not editing it because I’m at the point in my life where I appreciate the raw expressions of my past without trying to perfect them. I’m re-posting this today because I remembered it when I drew that Romantic Partner Fairy Oracle this morning. The card triggered a memory, so I’m including the memory on “The Road Home.”

“I don’t need you”
Written by:
Wendi Friend

I don’t need you to think I’m sexy
in order to know I’m a woman.
I don’t need you to show me the way
in order for my life to begin.

I don’t need you to call me smart,
in order to recognize intelligence –
and I don’t need to wait for you….
in order to play out my life’s events.

I don’t need to credit you
with all that I become,
I don’t need to belong to you
because I don’t belong to anyone!

I don’t need to beg of you
forgiveness for my mistakes ~
and I won’t worship the ground you walk on,
when the ground that you walk on quakes!

I don’t need to subscribe to the theory
that I can’t live without you
nor will I be suckered into believing
that I’d do anything for love – if it were true.

However …

Because I am a woman,
I’d like to be thought of as sexy.
I don’t fear getting lost along the way,
but I sure wouldn’t mind some company.

I’m not afraid to use my own mind,
but I value other opinions-
and though my life doesn’t depend on it,
I would like a bit of your attention

While I believe it’s sometimes right to be wrong
and that our mistakes can be our virtues,
I’ll try to be understanding through the journey long,
willing to walk a mile in another’s shoes.

And though I’ll walk on my own two feet
to reach the goals I’ve longed for,
the rewards of my efforts would be really neat-
but sharing it with love would be worth more.

Read Full Post »

“Romantic Partner”

Romantic Partner

Well, damn if this didn’t get a snort and an eyeroll from me this morning! *laughs* There’s a voice in my head going, “Yeah, yeah, yeah… what about it? I know. I know.”

I’ve been writing quite a bit about this lately, actually. I’ve been making internal adjustments in regard to my views on love, romance, commitment, partnership, marriage, and all that jibberish. I’ve decided it’s time for that dreamy little girl to grow up an get a good, solid, firm grasp on this so-called reality. It’s the daydreamer in me, that little girl who fantasized of Prince Charming and Happily Ever After that gets me into so much trouble.

I’ve finally come to the conclusion that there is no Knight in Shining Armor… not in the way I’d once imagined, and that – in truth – I really don’t like the feeling of being swept off my feet and caught in that “airy-fairy” whirlwind of emotion. No… twitterpated is NOT where I want to be. I’d much rather stay grounded. But, I didn’t know that about myself when this new relationship sprouted, and it took a few hurt feelings for me to re-gain my balance and draw myself back in.

Well, I wrote of being guarded and shielded, then re-writing those words because they sounded to “protective”, and it wasn’t a “defense” mechanism. Instead, I said I’m keeping my heart “reserved”, holding some back, investing my love in more substantial areas… where it belonged… with my children, my animals, my writing, my home, my Self. I wrote that I can appreciate what there is to appreciate in romance and this new relationship without over-exposing myself, over-investing, over-analyzing, or dissecting it to death. Take it down a notch. Enjoy what there is to enjoy without forming an emotional attachment. Here today, gone tomorrow… I’ll survive. I don’t “need” anyone to promise me their forever or make me their one and only (do I?).

So I’m struggling with this issue, obviously. To love or not to love, that is the question. Nah, no it isn’t… that one I already know the answer to. I know how to love. I know how to love hard, deep, and completely (when I choose to). I guess the real question is: To be loved or not to be loved… now there’s the question.

So I’d come to the realization that I am not meant to be anyone’s “one and only”. I will never be “the one” that someone has been searching for. I’ll always be “really cool” and “fun to hang out with” and “this close” to perfect… but not close enough to be “the one”. That’s what prompted the writing of “The Stepping Stone” the other day, the first piece I’ve written fresh in a really long time, and one that was written from the paradoxed position of pain and healing.

And now that I’ve decided that I’ve gotten over myself and I’m cool with whatever, now I draw Romantic Partner? HA! No wonder the laughter card was a prelude to this (drawn earlier this week) telling me to find the humor in life. HA! HA! And frigging HA!

Well, if this card came up in a reading for someone else, I’d tell them that they were either about to meet a new Romantic Partner, or that if they already had one, it was a keeper and one that deserved more of their attention and energy. Of course, that interpretation might vary a tad depending on which other cards it came up with. When I do full spread readings for others, I use two decks together… the Rider/Waite deck which I read first, and then I lay the fairy Oracles on top of them so they’re synchronized. Nonetheless, the Romantic Partner is the focus here and is asking for attention.

How ’bout if I just shut up at this point and list what the book says. I’m obviously tripping over my own feet (tongue) with this one.

Card Meaning: A new romance is coming your way! Either a new partner, or a revival of passion in an existing relationship will delight you now or in the future.

Description: By drawing this card, the fairy realm wants you to know that a new wave of romance is coming your way. Romance could manifest itself in a number of delightful forms, such as meeting a new partner who makes your heart sing with excitement and passion, or a rejuvenation of a waning romance with a current love. Perhaps the new romance will take the form of an exciting getaway, such as a tropical vacation, a night at a quaint bed-and-breakfast Inn, or an evening of dinner and dancing.

Fairies love romance, and they know the importance of feeling passion in a relationship. Ask them to help you with imaginative ideas to create more romance in your life. They remind you that romance is a state of mind, and it involves playfulness and creativity. Sometimes when we’re stressed, we crave romance the most, yet we may not know how to experience romance. Let the fairies help you relax, allowing an inflow of romantic ideas to easily come to your mind, and also giving you the energy to put them into action and enjoy them to the utmost.

Affirmation: I am a romantic person. I release any fears I may have about giving or receiving love.

(Me: Awww, *wince*, do I hafta?)

Source: Healing with the Fairies Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue, Ph. D.

P.S. – Here’s an interesing sidenote that I’ll include in the Daily Dose: Today is Friday, ruled by Venus… a day for love, romance, and beauty. (HA!)

Read Full Post »

Written by:
Wendi Friend

Romance novels… my mother lives on them. I can’t stand them.

When I first started considering writing as a career, due to my mother’s influence, I was under the impression that romance novels were the way to go. But then I read a few, and a few more, and was left with this hollow pit in my core and a sour taste of acid bubbling up from my throat.

Regardless of my reaction to reading them, the fact can’t be denied that romance sells like hotcakes. Women love this stuff… they gobble it up in huge doses and swallow it down with horny glee. Romance novels are the equivalent of soft porn designed for the woman’s libido. Cometh hither, Fabio!

It’s not difficult to find a group of women chattering about their favorite romance author, or the latest best seller, or the newest release. It’s an addiction… gotta have it. Get a book club membership. Become best friends with the librarian. It’s an addiction, an addiction to romance, an addiction to a fairy tale world that doesn’t exist, and in my opinion, is the cause of much un-due stress and unhappiness. How can something so seemingly fulfilling leave a person feeling so empty?

I’ve thought about this long and hard, and as a result, I refuse to read or write novels based solely on romance.

Let me begin at the opposite end of the spectrum and state what I feel works about romance novels.

Romance novels are extremely flowery with delicious words, and the deliciously flowery words are planted in a plush garden of daydreams and fanciful whims. The settings are exotic and described in such vivid detail that they provide the perfect escape from reality, which any “good book” should do. No problems there.

Women deserve an escape. Women deserve to experience exotic locations and, even if through character relation, women deserve (need) to feel sexy and adored; nothing wrong with that. Romance novels are portrayed with such detailed accounts of character and setting that the reader really doesn’t have to stretch themselves at all in order to envision themselves in the plot. That’s just good writing! So what’s the problem?

The problem, in my opinion, is the ability to separate fact from fiction.

I can’t speak for all women or all romance novels, so I won’t even try. However, I will account for my own experiences, which are responsible for my opinions.

I used to enjoy romance novels. Nothing makes a 6-hour plane ride fly by faster than a scrumptious tale of a remarkably chiseled Viking man, with a body to die for, who mysteriously travels through time by way of his sword, discovered centuries later by a beautiful, intelligent, young, modern-day female scientist who just happens to be void of love, passion, and intrigue.

There’s nothing more enchanting than a magical faerie male, quick-witted and sharp tongued, sleek and slick with charisma, who shows up to comfort and challenge a lost damsel in distress who traveled to Ireland to discover her roots. Oh, his charms! Oh, her desires! It’s a perfect match and a sizzling way to burn away time that would otherwise be spent in boredom or depression. So I read. I discovered my favorite romance authors and sought them out the way a starving cat scrounges for scraps. But then, I discovered a trend.

In my opinion, a good book is one that, when you close its end cover, having eagerly lapped up every word, makes you feel fuller in some way… like you’ve gained something, or like you’ve grown in some way. Finishing a good book should feel to the soul the way finishing a good meal feels to the tummy. Romance novels had the opposite effect on me, and each time I’d close the paperback snack, I’d feel like something was lacking,

Now why can’t I have a love like that? Where is my Mr. Right?

When I was single, these feelings weren’t as devastating as they were when I was married. When single, I could hold out the hope that Prince Charming would soon swoop in on his sexy steed, sweep me off my feet, and have me swooning over his every breath. And, when scanning the market for men, it was so easy to go, “Nope, not it. Not it. Not it… Next!” But then heaven have mercy on the soul with a penis who had even a hint of romance in his being. “He MUST be it! He knows romance!” It must be love!

Wedding bells (just like the fairy tale).

Well, the problem with reading romance novels when in an existing relationship is that when the book was done, I’d close the cover and begin to subconsciously compare my real life romance with the fiction I’d just stuffed myself with. The character in the book was so perfect, so smart, so witty, so creative, so sexy, and so well-built… and for goodness sakes, he never blew his nose, farted, got fat, went bald, or snored! Surely, then, I married the wrong character!

Before I’d read the romance novel, my husband (now an ex) seemed next to perfect. After I read the romance, he seemed listless and dull. Without realizing it, I began putting unreasonable expectations on my relationship by constantly dreaming of “the perfect man”.

Women, in my understanding of them, consciously know that what they’re reading is fiction, but subconsciously, they fall in love with these perfect characters and begin to feel dissatisfied in their own lives when comparing their facts to their fiction.

Observation: Most of the women I’ve encountered personally who suffer from extreme depression or dissatisfaction are the women who fill their time, minds, and hearts, with the unrealistic fantasy of “perfect romance” by reading love stories that they hope will become a reality. What’s worse is that in many cases, the women don’t stop believing in “the perfect man”. Instead, they stop believing in their own worth or beauty, or their own ability to attract such a mate. Of course, then they drive themselves mad with the ideas of the perfect female character… if I could just lose 20 pounds, if I just had bigger breasts, then I’d be lovable.

Romance has its place and its value. I don’t discredit the need for romance, or its popularity. However, I don’t believe a novel should be based on romance alone.

I don’t have a single complaint about the way romance novels are written – and they do provide a certain appeal in the way of escapism and fantasy, but in my opinion, they lack true substance and leave the reader feeling empty rather than fulfilled when the story concludes with its unrealistic and inevitable “Happily Ever After.”

Read Full Post »