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Finished cleaning by one. Had lunch with Stinkerbelle, and came home by 2:30. By three, I was laying down for a much needed, long overdue nap. I think I should have stayed awake.

This morning’s Fairy Oracle? Follow your dreams…

No doubt this dream was time travel, which made me think of the Crow and its ability to see past, present, and future – simultaneously.

Scotland, I think. T was there, but beard was longer and thicker, arms were bigger, chest was broader, and he looked much less Sage and much more Rage. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was more Viking than anything in this dream. In the dream, I was his and I followed him as we traveled. With us, his son and two of my three, Rhythm and Stinkerbelle. Accents were thick, but we didn’t have them, so it was clear we didn’t live in Scotland, but were transplants, or simply visiting. T was playing a game in a castle with a Royal figure while the rest of us waited. T came out of a room in a hurry, snatching up his things and insisting we do the same. We all went trotting behind him. We had access to a car, so it couldn’t have been distant past – or the time travel happened sporadically so that I didn’t realize we were going past to future back to past again. At any rate, we landed in a bar somewhere. This is where T told me that he was no good for me… that it had nothing to do with me, but that he had to go his own way. I was furious. I yelled at him for dragging me to the middle of nowhere and ditching me in a place I didn’t recognize, with people I didn’t know. He said I’d find my way, then disappeared.

His son offered to give me a ride back to the castle because that’s where I’d left the majority of my things. I snatched up what I could, but apparently I left behind some valuables – or at least that’s what I was told as I was being driven back.

Back at the castle, T’s son also pulled a disappearing act, saying he thought we could hang together for a while and he’d felt obligated to look after us … but, like his dad, realized it’d be in all of our best interest if he, too, disappeared. With that, he dumped us on the castle doorstep and was gone.

We entered the castle to find an old king. He had a long beard, looked almost like Dumbledore from Harry Potter. He said, “Finally, you’ve been returned to me.” He licked his lips in an obscene way and said, “I’ve been waiting for my prize!”

Suddenly it became clear that T had gambled me… and lost. I’d be no-one’s prize! Nor would my kids see me belong to anyone in such a way, so we used the power of three, did some serious ass-kickin, and freed ourselves from the castle.

Back in more modern times it seemed, we were walking at night, lost, heading towards a highway. We had to walk up cement steps and I asked Rhythm, “You think we can walk on the 1031? Some highways you can’t walk on. It might not be safe.”

Suddenly, a voice from beneath the bridge calls out to me with a Jamaican accent. “Scuse me, Angel.” When I didn’t respond the first time, as it seemed Angel was a direct name (and not mine), he called out again, “Hey, Angel!”

Stinkerbelle called it, “Hey, Mom… I think that guy is talking to you.”

I looked over my shoulder toward the man, who was sitting cross legged with bare feet and an orange hat. “Yes, you, Angel!” Said the man.

“My name isn’t angel, Sir. I think you have me confused for somebody else.”

“Aye, Angel – a rose by any other name would smell as sweet – but Angel is not the name, it’s what you are!”

“I assure you, Sir. I am no angel.

“But you are… even if you cannot see your own wings.”

“Well, Sir, these so-called wings of mine are not going to fly us home apparently, so we’d better be on our way.” I answered.

“Might I suggest, Angel, that if you’re choosing feet over wings, that you do not walk the 1031. There are many dangers there. You’d be best to follow that road over there, then.”

There was no other road! If there’d been another road, I’d have considered it! “With all due respect, Kind Sir, there is no other road, and I didn’t say the 1031, I said the 231. You must be confused.”

“Me? Confused? Nah… Listen here: Isn’t it you, Angel, with all due respect, who says there is always a way… more than one way… and that it’s just a matter of finding it?”

I was stunned and frightened all at once, “Who are you?”

“More importantly, Angel, who are you?”

With that, the man vanished… and a road appeared in the exact spot he’d been sitting. It was marked with the numbers 231, and when I looked back up at the sign on the bridge, it now said “1031”. The numbers had changed!

The kids and I began walking the 231 road when a messenger arrived with the news of three attempted (yet not successful) suicides. I knew the three.  I looked at Stinkerbelle, she looked at me, and I said, “I don’t get it… how do I have such a nack for knowing, and why am I choosing them?”

Rhythm answered, “Those aren’t the right questions to be asking for the answer you seek. More importantly, what are you supposed to be doing for them or learning from them since you are choosing them?”

With that, I woke up…

5:15 p.m. —

Lost me in a bet, eh? *smirk*

Dreams like this one perplex me. I have my theories as to what parts of it might be expressing.

In spite of that, the nap was wonderful…

and Life is good!

 

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Oooh…. ouch. Another repeat card, this time from yesterday. Same card as yesterday, still inverted. Bleh….

Okay, so I’m being given the same cards because even though I’ve seen them, understood them, accepted them, the situation that brought them forth has yet to be resolved.  I’m missing something.  Something isn’t clicking into place. I’m stuck… stuck in a rut…. and it’s time I get myself out of this mess!!!

Yeah… the answer is clear. When I drew this morning’s Fairy Oracle, also a repeat card: “Letting Go”, I asked HOW to let go.  This card offers that answer… let go by taking the focus off of self.  Take the spiritual eyes off of the mirror and set them elsewhere.  Quit focusing on how I feel (stressed, scared, worried) and try applying some compassion to other sources.  In readings, I often tell others, “You must first give in order to receive because it’s what you put out that returns times three.”

Talking to self: Okay, kiddo, you’ve got the answers.  Now APPLY them!

*NOTE: As I typed the above line, several crows flocked to the tree in my front yard, cawing their little heads off.  I got up from my chair, looked out the window, and saw at least three of them in the tree.  The moment I sat back down in my chair to record the event, the cawing stopped.  Crow spoke to me on June 10th in a similar fashion, so I’m including this, too, as a repeat message that I’ve not yet applied.  Click here to read Crow’s Message.

“Five of Swords”

Here’s what I wrote yesterday:

Let’s look at the five, first. When we see a number 5, we see in the middle, a little tiny stick. At the bottom, we see a big round belly, and at the top, we see a cap (a hat). That little tiny stick in the middle represents a sort of spiritual anorexia, or a dehydrated soul. The big round belly indicates our attempts to fill that hunger with outside sources, material objects, other influences. However, the cap at the top of the five is showing that we’ve closed ourselves off to Higher Powers, divine influences, or universal wisdom… Soul food! The message of the five is to stop trying to fill the void with outside objects, look inward at your True Spirit, recognize that it’s been ignored, and tap back into the universal flow of divinity and Higher Consciousness. (see how this card connects with the Fairy Oracle for today?)

Swords represent action and transformation. In this card, we see one man standing, holding three swords, while two other people drop their own swords and walk away from the situation. This shows that the Quarrent (person drawing the card) has been acting out of discord, selfishness, self-centerdness, and hasn’t been concerned with what’s best for the whole. As a result, those around him got frustrated, fet up, and decided it was in their own best interest to walk away from the situation.

This card reflects an “All about me!” syndrome.

It’s not a “fun” view of the Self, to realize you’ve slipped into a behavior pattern that has caused others to walk away hurt and frustrated with your actions – and as “sour” of a reflection as that can be, it can be a beautiful thing to see – because seeing it and being aware of it gives opportunity to correct and change the behaviors.

Here are the other sources:

From LearnTarot.com:

acting in your own self-interest
setting aside the concerns of others
looking out for number one
thinking of your own needs
knowing you must concentrate on yourself
encountering selfishness
indulging in power plays
gloating
going for the win-lose result

experiencing discord
being in a hostile environment
feeling people are set against each other
choosing to battle
having an “us-against-them” mentality
creating ill will
experiencing conflict

witnessing open dishonor
losing your moral compass
letting ends justify means
sacrificing integrity
losing sight of what is right
achieving a dubious victory
knowing of criminal activity

The Five of Swords is about self-interest. Society tells us to think of others, yet we resist. How we can ignore our own concerns and still survive? This dilemma comes from our definition of self. If we view our self as our personality/body, our interests become those that relate to that self. Do I have enough to eat? Am I happy? Do I have all I want?

We may expand our concern to those we love, but, then, how can we stop there? We are connected to everyone in the long run. In truth, our self is the world. What we do to that world, we do to ourselves. This understanding is so basic, but so infuriatingly easy to forget day-to-day.

In readings, the Five of Swords can mean that you or someone else is forgetting this larger view of self. You are defining your interests too narrowly. If you try to get ahead in isolation, your actions will come back to haunt you later, one way or the other.

Sometimes this card implies a need to put your own interests first. If you are being abused or taken advantage of, you must get free. If you are worn out by demands, take care of yourself. If it is your turn, step forward and claim your due. Just be aware that if you hurt others in the process, your victory will not feel complete.

The Five of Swords also represents hostility – from a cross word to warfare. When the cords that bind us are broken, we experience dis-cord. This card can signify dishonors that are fairly open. Cheats, lies, tricks, deceits, even crimes. You may be on the receiving end, or be the perpetrator. Either way, hold to a larger view of who you are. Find the solution that is best for everyone…including yourself.

And from Aeclectic Tarot:

FIVES
When trying to read the Fives, think of the Hierophant. The Hierophant represents a teacher, counselor, or priest, someone who advises people when they’re in trouble. Likewise, the Fives are unique cards in that each one seems to pose both a problem and an answer. After four fairly smooth cards of growth and development, the fives represent the fly in the ointment. Instability; the changes that make one humble and allow for growth.

Of the question asked of the Hierophant by a troubled supplicant, the problem is real world. The answer, however, appropriate to the Hierophant, is usually spiritual or at least pragmatic. Understand that all Fives temper the Querent – you go through the fire, the low points, the hard times, in order to come out stronger.

Five of Swords

A smirking young man gathers up swords won in battle from two losers. In arguments and battles of ideas there are going to be times when one just loses or has to surrender. The worst of these is when the winner is an awful person, a bully, braggart, a cheat, someone who used an unfair advantage to win. But it happens. The problem: “How can I win in an argument with this person?” The answer/prediction: “You can’t. All you can do is not argue.” This is the closest to a win one can come to in this situation. But if the Querent feels they must argue, then they need to be prepared to learn from it, not allow feelings of failure, anger or blame to overcome them.

*Notes: My own interpretation was pretty on target, although both sources indicate that the energy of this card could manifest in another person rather than Self, such as having someone else be dishonest or immoral against you, or finding another person argumentative and not being able to “win” against such an argument. I can see where that could come into play in these descriptions, but I have a natural resistance to those concepts. I’m more inclined to think the card reflects Self. Why? It’s one of the few cards that show more than one person in the image. Two of the people in the card are shown more in the distance with their backs turned. The third is up front, at a frontal view… you can see his face. Instinctively, that becomes the Quarrent to me. I’m not saying the other sources are wrong, and I might incorporate their “warnings” into future readings, but I’ve always learned that intuition should govern in Tarot, that there’s no right or wrong way to read the cards (as long as morals are in tact), and that if you “feel” a certain thing reflecting in a card, trust that feeling. For me, when I do readings, this card generally reflects the behavior of the quarrent, not an outside source.

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I’m feeling much better mentally today than I have over the past few days. Taking the advice of the Daily Dose and detaching from certain emotional conditions is serving me well. I was energized by yesterday’s cards… the Magician and the Problems Resolved. After work, I went over to T’s for a while. He knows I like to draw a card from his Medicine Wheel Animal Oracle deck and had the deck sitting on the coffee table for me when I walked in. Smiling, I shuffled, cut the deck, stacked the cards, flipped the top card, then laughed out loud. Raven… symbol of magick! Messenger of the Universe.

I dreamed I was going to Canada.

Work was a drain yesterday, and non-productive, financially speaking. Eight hours of serving produced a whoppin’ $37. People just aren’t tipping the way they used to. I understand it, to a degree, because gas prices and cost of living have skyrocketed out of control… but I don’t know if the general public knows, or cares, that our tips are our living. We only make $2.28 per hour… without our tips, we don’t survive. People… treat your servers well!

There’s a Crow cawing. Right now, as I type this, it’s on the back hill… cawing, cawing, cawing away. Crow is related to Raven, and is one of my animal totems. Let’s reflect since it’s clearly calling for my attention:

Crow

This is from the Medicine Wheel Animal Oracles from which I drew cards indicating my animal totems:

Below: The Below animal teaches you about the inner Earth, and how to stay grounded and on path.

Crow (Law): There is a medicine story that tells of Crow’s fascination with her own shadow. She kept looking at it, scratching it, pecking at it, until her shadow woke up and became alive. Then Crow’s shadow ate her. Crow is Dead Crow now.

Dead Crow is the Left-Handed Guardian. If you look deeply into Crow’s eye, you will have found the gateway to the supernatural. Crow knows the unknowable mysteries of creation and is the keeper of all sacred law.

Since Crow is the keeper of sacred law, Crow can bend the laws of the physical universe and “shape shift.” This ability is rare and unique. Few adepts exist in today’s world, and fewer still have mastered Crow’s art of shape shifting. This art includes doubling, or being in two places at once time consciously; taking on another physical form, and becoming the “fly on the wall” to observe what is happening far away.

The Europeans that came to Turtle Island were named the “boat people” by Slow Turtle. Even with the knowledge of alchemy possessed by certain boat people, none had ever seen the powerful shape shifting of shamans who utilized Crow medicine. Many boat people were frightened by what appeared to be animals coming into their camps or dwellings to discern their medicine. Crow medicine people are masters of illusion.

All sacred texts are under the protection of Crow. Creator’s Book of Laws or Book of Seals is bound in Crow feathers. Crow feathers tell of spirit made flesh. Crow is also the protector of the “ogallah” or ancient records.

The Sacred Law Belts, or Wampum Belts, beaded by native women long before the boat people or Europeans came to this continent, contain knowledge of the Great Sprit’s laws, and are kept in the Black Lodges, the lodges of women. The law which states that “all things are born of women” is signified by Crow.

Children are taught to behave according tothe rules of a particular culture. Most orthodox religious systems create a mandate concerning acceptable behavior within the context of worldly affairs. Do this and so, and you will go to heaven. Do thus and so, and you will go to hell. Different formulas for salvation are demanded by each “true faith.”

Human law is not the same as Sacred Law. More so than any other medicine, Crow sees that the physical world and even the spiritual world, as humanity interprets them, are an illusion. There are billions of worlds. There are an infinitude of creatures. Great Sprit is within all. If an individual obeys Crow’s perfect laws as given by the Creator, then at death he or she dies a Good Medicine death — going on to the next incarnation with a clear memory of his or her past.

Crow is an omen of change. Crow lives in the void and has no sense of time. The Ancient Chiefs tell us that Crow sees simultaneously the three fates – past, present, and future. Crow merges light and darkness, seeing both inner and outer reality.

If Crow medicine appears in your card spread, you must pause and reflect on how you see the laws of the Great Spirit in relation to the laws of humanity. Crow medicine signifies a firsthand knowledge of a higher order of right and wrong than indicated by the laws created in human culture. With Crow medicine, you speak in a powerful voice when addressing issues that for you seem out of harmony, out of balance, out of whack, or unjust.

Remember that Crow looks at the world with first one eye, then the other – cross-eyed. In the Mayan culture, cross-eyeds had the privilege and duty of looking into the future. You must put aside your fear of being a voice in the wilderness and “caw” the shots as you see them.

As you learn to allow your personal integrity to be your guide, your sense of feeling alone will vanish. Your personal will can then emerge so that you will stand in your truth. The prime path of true Crow people says to be mindful of your opinions and actions. Be willing to walk your talk, speak your truth, know your life’s mission, and balance past, present, and future in the now. Shape shift that old reality and become your future self. Allow the bending of physical laws to aid in creating the shape-shifted world of peace.

– And the moment I sought out that information inspired by the crow’s demanding caw this morning, the caw was silenced. In no uncertain terms, that bird just spoke to me.

For good measure, I’m also going to record, in part, what’s in my Animal Magick book (by D.J. Conway) about Crow Magick and messages:

Magickal Attributes: Thief, trickery, boldness, skill, cunning, single-mindedness; a bringer of knowledge. Prophecy. Learn from the past but don’t hold onto it. Swiftness, eloquence. Shape-shifting. Letting go of past hurts. Learning to mentally shape-shift. Divination.

Chant:
Prince of thieves, cunning and swift,
Your black wings glide among the trees.
Your harsh laughter breaks the silence
As you perform your stealthy magick.
I would learn your cunning and swift magickal ways.

I love it when the Animals speak to me in such a clear, undeniable fashion… and I will hold these messages with me throughout the day. I understand them perfectly.

I am content within my own skin today. Magick is in the air.

T wants me to do another reading for him, and I think I’ll be much more attuned to it this time ’round since I’ve learned to detach. I’ve never had a problem reading anyone before, but the first time I tried to read his cards, I got caught up in my own reflections, desires, and emotions. Clearly, I was appearing in his reading and because of that, I had trouble interpreting for him what I was seeing. Now that I’m learning to enjoy what there is to enjoy without the emotional pressures of what might or might not someday be, I think it’ll be a much easier path for me to walk, particularly in performing a reading for him. So, I’ll take my cards to work with me and stop by his place on my way home.

I’m excited over the move… should have word back from the lender tomorrow. He’d said the first part of the week, specifically before Thursday, but intuition says it’ll be tomorrow when Mercury rules the day.

I’m tired, but I feel wonderful. I’m in a financial vice, but I refuse to stress over it at the moment. Stressing isn’t going to pay the power bill, it’ll only make me miserable.

Lessons, messages, synchronicity (*winks*), and all… LIFE IS GOOD!

Time for a Daily Dose.

W

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