Archive for June, 2008

There’s a hell of a lot I could say in response to the reading I’m posting below, it was powerful and has struck on many levels… but I’m going to take the advice of position number six and reserve judgment.  I’ll sleep on this, think it through, re-read it a few times, and then later in the month may share my thoughts and opinions.  For now, I’m keeping it internalized.

Not sure how this is going to come out in regard to format… if it’s messed up, I’ll come back and correct later.  As for now, it’s past my bed-time and this reading has blown my mind, so I’m calling it a day.



Date And Time: Monday, June 30, 2008 at 11:11:38 PM,

question: Based on current energies and influences, what is the likely projection for July 2008?”

Deck: Rider-Waite
Spread: Celtic Cross

Position 1: Self
Card: The Wheel of Fortune

“Accept that the wheel continues to turn and that you have no choice but to adapt to its movement.
The Wheel of Fortune in this position indicates that your mind or your heart just won’t keep still. It keeps churning up new developments or issues that you thought were resolved. This is the nature of The Wheel of Fortune which never ceases to turn. You probably feel like you want to get off life’s ferris wheel once in a while, but there is only one good way to do that — take refuge in the hub, the center from which all the motion is emanating. Much as you might like to, there is no way to stay on top all the time. Your ultimate challenge is to learn to peak and drop without resisting the process, including all its ups and downs.
General Meaning: “A central concept of this card from its most ancient form to the present is Change. The Wheel will keep on rolling, churning events in a ceaseless progression of ups and downs. No one can escape its action, which feels good when we are rising and terrifying when we are falling. The figure balanced on the top has a moment of eternal clarity, but the only unmoving part of the Wheel is the hub, whereit pivots on the crossbar that holds it up.
Whether it is moved by the action of the Angel of Time, a disembodied Hand of Fate turning a crank, or the natural law of eternal return, we are each bound to occupy all the roles at one point or another on life’s journey. The predictability of the Wheel is its lesson, and that’s something we can take comfort in. If you don’t like the look of things right now, just wait a bit — it’s bound to change. Of course, if you do like the look of things right now, enjoy it while it lasts, because that’s bound to change too!
Position Meaning: “The Self position gives a reflection of you, the one shuffling the cards. So, consider your inner experience, your own perspective, as you mull over the issues you bring to this reading.
Publisher Notes: Divinatory meanings: Destiny, fortune, success, luck, felicity.
Reversed meanings: Increase, abundance, superfluity.

Position 2: Situation
Card: Queen of Coins

“You have it in you to see what needs to be done. Now it’s time to get organized and use your skills as a manager.
When the Queen of Coins is in this position, you are being called upon to help steer the collective enterprise. Call up the manager within you or procure the assistance of someone who is a natural manager. Perceive what needs to be done, in what order it should be administered and with what amount of support or staff. It’s time to be organized and be energetic about it. This effort will not only benefit you personally, but just as importantly, it will support the well being of those you are involved with.
General Meaning: “The Queen of Coins is endowed with enormous good sense and problem-solving energy, but she is not entrepreneurial. She loves to advise, encourage, and empower those she gets involved with, studying their problems with them and setting them up to solve it. Traditionally she is the Sibyl or Oracle, perhaps a Tarot reader, who made herself available to people in need, no matter what social class or situation they came from. In modern times, she will be found educating, healing, managing disaster aid programs and handling the money from a charity drive.
In every case, she does not see the benefits that exist in her life as belonging solely to her. She feels the needs of “her people” and will spend freely of her time, energy, skills, money to see that nobody is abandoned. For this, and because she likes to work in an atmosphere of beauty, enjoyment, and abundance, she is sometimes accused of being profligate. But she works hard, and she sees no reason to deny the rewards of a job well done! Everyone who comes in contact with her feels enriched by her obvious enjoyment in living.
Position Meaning: The Situation position provides the context for the question, the set and setting, what is going on relative to your concern. It reflects the issues, people, and forces shaping your environment and circumstance. Another title for this card could be “The Fixed Givens” — that which is true from the start.
Publisher Notes: The face suggests that of a dark woman, whose qualities might be summed up in the idea of greatness of soul; she has also the serious cast of intelligence; she contemplates her symbol and may see worlds therein.
Divinatory meanings: Opulence, generosity, magnificence, security, liberty.
Reversed meanings: Evil, suspicion, suspense, fear, mistrust.

Position 3: Challenges
Card: Eight of Wands

Long labor produces what appears to others to be an effortless result. The price of success is continued exertion.
The Eight of Wands in this position is testing how well you anticipated the tremendous results you are getting from your efforts. When you put yourself in harmony with natural forces, you are furthered by their energetically supportive response. This card, sometimes named “The Garden,” suggests the kind of long labor that bears, at the end of the season, what appears to be a natural cornucopia. The point is that your ambitious vision and devoted labors may give you even better results than you dared dream. Now you have more decisions to make, more details to secure, more work to accomplish — but that is the price of success.
General Meaning: “The Eight of Wands often shows a flight of spears or staffs moving through the air in formation, as if a hidden group of archers had let fly all at once. The title of the card will often echo the idea of swiftly unfolding events, whether of intentional design or unpremeditated. There are also versions which emphasize the agricultural cycle, paralleling the yearly crop cycle with the swift growth of children into adults with children of their own.
In each case, the emphasis is on the necessity of change and the challenge of keeping up with it. With the turning of the seasons we are constantly being plunged into precipitous change, and there is no remedy but to live with that in mind. Speed up! Get Busy! Do it now! There is no time to waste!
Position Meaning: “The Challenge and Opportunities position reflects the cutting edge in the situation, the learning curve whereby you can turn adversity into accomplishment using creativity and a skillful attitude. This position tells you how to get the best out of this situation.
Publisher Notes: “The card represents motion through the immovable — a flight of wands through an open country.
Divinatory meanings: Activity in undertakings, the path of such activity, swiftness, as that of an express messenger; great haste, great hope, speed towards an end which promises assured felicity; generally, that which is on the move; also the arrows of love.
Reversed meanings: Arrows of jealousy, internal dispute, stingings of conscience, quarrels.

Position 4: Foundation
Card: Three of Cups

You have an innate ability to draw people who willingly become part of your group.
The Three of Cups in this position suggests that in your background, you were imprinted with an unerring compass that helps you find the most loving, supportive and nurturing people in every environment you enter. Your magnetism attracts like-minded souls who know how to harmonize, cooperate and mutually support each other. When you locate these people, you begin to bond with them and become like a family. This regular feature in the cycles of your life is a remarkable blessing! It makes you a truly valued and cherished part of every team you become involved with. It’s time once again to look around for sympathetic souls you can join with in this situation.
General Meaning: “The Three of Cups, often called “consent,” or simply “yes,” this card appears with a spirit of agreement, mutual support, encouragement, and teamwork. Regularly pictured as three women celebrating their connectedness in a dance with lifted cups, it can be called “sisterhood,” a mutual admiration society. It represents all the benefits of harmonious relationships.
Position Meaning: The Foundation position points to influences from your personal history, your roots and background — factors which are important for you to reconnect with or examine. This is the storehouse of memory — from your own experience as well as collective knowledge which you have inherited.
Publisher Notes: Maidens in a garden ground with cups uplifted, as if pledging one another.
Divinatory meanings: The conclusion of any matter in plenty, perfection and merriment; happy issue, victory, fulfillment, solace, healing.
Reversed meanings: Expedition, dispatch, achievement, end.

Position 5: Recent Past
Card: The Fool

An experience of the Fool can be a valuable wake-up call.
With the Fool in this position, you have had an encounter with destiny. It proved to you in no uncertain terms that your concept of what’s going on is off center. When you have an episode with the Fool, the reality that seemed so substantial and compelling a moment ago is suddenly revealed as threadbare and frivolous. This motley clad jester questions the very foundations of life. These experiences are brisk and bracing and put things in perspective. Be grateful if the Fool has visited your neighborhood and cast his comedic and piercing eye into your life. Distortions get reduced to size and the real issues are revealed.
General Meaning: The classical renditions of the Fool portray a person who is basically ignorant, driven by base needs and urges, fallen into the lowest tate of poverty and deprivation. At best he is a carnival entertainer, most likely a scam-artist; at worst, depraved and vulnerable because of his self-delusion. Not until the 20th century do you see the Waite image, that of the Soul before its Fall into Matter, untainted by contact with “the city” and its ills.
Modern decks borrow from the Waite image the mountainside scene, the butterfly, the potential misplaced step that will send him tumbling, all on faith that this is a historical Fool image. In truth, the Fool Arcanum originally represented already-fallen humanity, utterly identified with materiality, getting ready to seek the first step towards self-knowledge, and eventually, The Gnosis.
Position Meaning: The Recent Past position refers to events that are just departing, influential recently but now diminishing in power. Like it or not, they cannot be changed or deleted. Often what appears here is the precipitating event or realization that brought you to the situation you are seeking guidance about.

Publisher Notes: Divinatory meanings: Folly, mania, extravagance, intoxication, delirium, frenzy, bewrayment.
Reversed meanings: Negligence, absence, distribution, carelessness, apathy, nullity, vanity.

Position 6: Higher Power
Card: Two of Coins

Reserve judgment; give yourself enough time to do some important processing.
When the Two of Coins comes up in this position, the best thing you can do right now is nothing. Even if you think you know what needs to happen, give the situation time to percolate until you can achieve a better understanding of what is happening. Your Higher Power is asking you to reserve judgment, be open to all the possibilities and examine the directions that you might go from here. This is not a critique of your goal or plan; it is an invitation to step back and see all the different ways in which your plan could be realized — before you commit to and focus on a final strategy.
General Meaning: The Two of Coins generally features a youth juggling, with two coins flying about him in figure-eight fashion, or just the coins without the youth, one shown heads up, the other tails up, both still flipping in the air. It is clear that until one or the other coin drops, the final call can not be made; there is more to learn before a decision can be made about appropriate action.
This card counsels patience, so do not allow circumstances to hustle you. The figure-eight image is called a lemniscate, and is a symbol of immortality and eternity. It says “No need to hurry. You have all the time you need to work this out, no matter how things appear right now.” Implied within this scenario is the idea that changes are in the works, but you will do better to stay calm until you have more information. Everything is in flux.
Position Meaning: The Higher Power position points to the influence of your better nature, your conscience, Oversoul, Guardian Angel, inner wisdom. This card is trying to trying to stimulate a broader perspective on your current adventures, by referring to the spiritual — or karmic — side of things.
Publisher Notes: A young man in the act of dancing has a pentacle in either hand, and they are joined by that endless cord which is like the number 8 reversed.
Divinatory meanings: On the one hand it is represented as a card of gaiety, recreation and its connections, which is the subject of the design; but it is read also as news and messages in writing, as obstacles, agitation, trouble, embroilment.
Reversed meanings: Enforced gaiety, simulated enjoyment, literal sense, handwriting, composition, letters of exchange.

Position 7: Near Future
Card: Four of Coins

Humbly seek out the most trustworthy advisors and allies you can find.
The Four of Coins in this position suggests that something of great value will soon be given to you. This situation points to the classic dilemma of an heir whose wealthy parents die before he or she is fully mature. Sometimes no will or sensible handlers can save such an heir from making bad investments and stupid mistakes. Although it may feel awkward, your best bet is to be humble and seek out the most trustworthy advisors and allies you can find. Let them tutor you so you can prepare yourself for this advantage when it comes.
General Meaning: The Four of Coins has been used to express the paradoxical aspect of material security, the two-edged reality that results when you have been well supported and protected. It all sounds idyllic until one investigates the level of demand that prosperity places upon people — the pressure of big decisions, responsibilities toward dependents or employees, even tougher decisions in times of instability.
An immature person thrust into such a position would lack the perspective to sensibly assess risks and rewards, would be vulnerable to bad advice or surprise developments, could even put the lives of his loyal assistants at risk. This card also points to the subtler dependencies that comfort encourages, allowing laxness and self-indulgence to quietly invade one’s reserve of will-power. The person who this card represents needs to move slowly and deliberately if change is required, as the consequences will affect more than just her or himself.
Position Meaning: The Near Future position predicts what could happen, following the dynamics of situation. This is not cast in stone, however. If you follow the Advice card, you can improve on or neutralize the probabilities that are now in process. Like a wind sock, this position shows which way it’s blowing right now.
Publisher Notes: A crowned figure, having a pentacle over his crown, clasps another with hand and arms; two pentacles are under his feet.
Divinatory meanings: The surety of possessions, cleaving to that which one has, gifts, legacy, inheritance.
Reversed meanings: Suspense, delay, opposition.

Position 8: Blocks and Inhibitions
Card: Four of Swords

Take responsibility and find solutions rather than dwelling on problems or finding fault.
When the Four of Swords is in this position, you seem to be assigning blame rather than taking responsibility for your part. This “keeping score” behavior builds up resentment against friends and colleagues. As others feel your attitude souring and receive little or no communication about what’s wrong, they withdraw. This initiates a trend toward unhealthy isolation. Resist every temptation to catalogue your resentments or rehash your turbulent feelings. Make an effort to move your attention from the problem to the solution. A more positive train of thought will open more options to you.
General Meaning: The Four of Swords sends a strong message to take some time out, surrendering worldly concerns and retreating to a place of serenity sheltered from the hustle and bustle. The oldest images suggest a visit to “the sephulcur of your ancestors,” to contemplate your mortality and breathe in the dust of those who brought you here. On a vision quest or pilgrimage to your own center, you can contemplate your roots, your values and your goals. Here you will see your own place in the flow of time and unfolding generations.
Position Meaning: The Blocks and Inhibitions position points to self-undermining tendencies, areas where you could be in denial, where you can get stuck, where you might get in your own way unless you examine yourself and make the necessary corrections.
Publisher Notes: The effigy of a knight in the attitude of prayer, at full length upon his tomb.
Divinatory meanings: Vigilance, retreat, solitude, hermit’s repose, exile, tomb and coffin.
Reversed meanings: Wise administration, circumspection, economy, avarice, precaution, testament.

Position 9: Allies
Card: Death

When death and rebirth become like allies, major transformations can be welcomed.
The Death card in this position suggests that you are free from fear. You realize that you are immortal, not attached to this body, and as such there is nothing to lose by taking a risk. You are the perfect person to meet the Reaper and gain the benefit of being pruned or harvested.
This card does not presage physical death. It suggests, however, that by not fearing death or behaving as if you don’t fear death, you cross the barrier and discover your immortal nature. This is not to advocate foolishness. It is to encourage present developments — because when there is nothing to lose you have everything to gain. Under these circumstances, you can’t be intimidated. Such a position makes you spiritually invincible.
General Meaning: Death represents the time of harvest, as the ubiquitous image of the scythe testifies. Unless the fruits of summer are harvested, they are lost to winter’s harshness, and the people do not eat. This Arcanum portrays the action of winter on the landscape — lush greenery is cut back, revealing the bones of the landscape. The season of dark and cold separates the annual plants, who live and die in one year, from the perennials, which can take refuge in their root systems until the following Spring, to sprout anew.
As the scythe cuts the chords which link us to the past, it liberates us to go forward without fear, because we have nothing to lose. We can see that everything pruned away is recycled for the fertility of the future, so there is no loss despite the changes that the seasons bring.
Position Meaning: The Allies position points to those people who can be supportive or helpful at this time. They could even be role models, expressing Archetypes you can look to for inspiration. An underlying message is that you don’t have to go through this alone!
Publisher Notes: Divinatory meanings: End, mortality, destruction, corruption.
Reversed meanings: Inertia, sleep, lethargy, petrifaction, somnambulism.


Position 10: Advice
Card: Two of Cups

Express the love you feel. Offer reassurances to those you love, so they don’t feel alone or insecure.
The Two of Cups in this position advises you to speak your heart. There is little question that the person you are trying to connect with feels the same. This is already known, but perhaps it’s not yet declared or confirmed. So why not make it clear, and why not now? We know the Two of Cups is not the image of a ceremony, but it is the image of the vow. This card advises that you pledge yourself and put your heart on the line. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Life is a relationship game.. It’s a great privilege to share with others who are so complementary and compatible. You will feel more complete on the other side of this pledge. Go for it!
General Meaning: The Two of Cups signifies a union of soul-mates, often with an Adam and Eve theme, traditionally described as a romantic relationship, but implying all partnerships based on affinity and deep mutual understanding. Occasionally it means that your mind and your soul are discovering each other, maybe for the first time.
This card highlights a Karmic tie between individuals, portrayed by a wreath or figure-eight ribbon twining around the two cups. Occasionally you see a symbol referring to the union of alchemical opposites (as in sacred sex), portrayed as a long-necked flask wound about with twined serpents, its mouth spouting flames, sometimes winged. This image is from Alchemy, indicating the refining and mutually-completing effect of a true and lasting human bond.
Position Meaning: The Advice position is, naturally, the part of this spread that gives the advice you are looking for. It conveys practical guidance for a course of action which will harmonize what you want with what is currently possible, while keeping your options open for future possibilities.
Publisher Notes: A youth and maiden are pledging one another, and above their cups rises the caduceus of Hermes, between the great wings of which there appears a lion’s head. It is a variant of a sign which is found in some old examples of this card. Some curious meanings are attached to it, but they do not concern us in this place.
Divinatory meanings: Love, passion, friendship, affinity, union, concord, sympathy, the inter-relation of the sexes, and—as a suggestion apart from all offices of divination—that which nature is sanctified.
Reversed meanings: False love, folly, misunderstanding.

Position 11: Long-Term Potential
Card: The Hermit

Stick to your profound quest. It’s well worth the commitment and time it takes.
The Hermit in this position suggests that the line of inquiry you are following has great long term potential. Perhaps you are pursuing a passionate study or a spiritual quest. Any path of mastery will consume major blocks of time and energy. You may be old and gray by the time you answer the questions you are posing. The pursuit of the answers, however, will lead you through profound life-changing experiences. When you make the commitment to this path, others will support you out of respect. Your inner crone or shaman is getting ready to take her place in the seat of leadership and right use of power. Don’t decline the invitation. Wrap your dignity around you and step up to the challenge.
General Meaning: The challenge of the Hermit card is to be able to recognize the Teacher in this humble disguise. He will not make it easy for the student to acquire his wisdom, as it takes time and long contemplation to fathom what he is illuminating. He often speaks wordlessly, or in ancient and barbaric tongues, communicating with the elements, the animals, the laws of Nature.
While the hourglass was an identifying feature of the earliest Hermit cards, more modern ones have shifted the metaphor, showing more or less light released from his lantern. But every Hermit card reminds us of the value of time away from the everyday hubbub of community life, to relax the ego and enjoin the mind of Nature.
Position Meaning: The Long Term Potential position points to the deep future, portraying unknowns still taking shape. It’s giving you some clues as to the nature of these factors. It is showing you the “wild card” still to be played before all is said and done.
Publisher Notes: Divinatory meanings: Prudence; also and especially treason, dissimulation, roguery, corruption.
Reversed meanings: Concealment, disguise, policy, fear, unreasoned caution.

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June 1st, I did a Tarot Reading via computer generated program (Tarot Magic) to preview the month ahead.  I prefer to use a computer program for my own readings, or to have them done by another reader, because I’m too … uhm… unsure of my interpretations when reading for myself. Before I do one for July, I thought it important that I review, reflect, and sum up June.  I can tell ya one thing, I’m glad June is over because it quite thoroughlly kicked my ass.

Here’s the link to the June 1st Tarot Reading.

In the Self position, I had drawn the king of swords, pin-pointing me as the mediator.  While there are no crystal clear episodes that make me go, “Oh, yeah, that must be what that king meant!”, I can see a few small-scale scenerios, most specifically at work, where that card’s energy may have come into play.  I also know that it came into play a bit in the search for a new house.  What I want is not necessarily the same thing that my kids want, so there had to be some negotiating and what I suppose you could call sacrificing, although the sale/purchase of homes has not yet taken place.  I’m sure there may be other areas, or other interpretations, where this card’s energy would be more than obvious, but I’m not really seeing them from where I sit at the moment.

In the Situation position, I’d drawn the magician… and I can see lots of areas of June where this card’s energy was present.  There was magick involved in how/when/where I chose to apply for home loans and look for houses.  There was magick in the belief that we’ll find a way to make the move happen, even if we can’t see the way from where we sit at the moment.  I’ve always said, “There’s always a way, it’s just a matter of finding it… as long as we believe.”  I could see the Magician a bit in T, with his intuitive nature and his ability to “predict” certain things, particularly in regard to shapes, symbols, and numbers.  So “Magick” being at the heart of my situation for June seems right on target.  Magick was definitely in the air.  June was also host to Litha, Midsummer’s Eve, when the veil is thinnest between the faerie realm and the human world.

Card 3 in the Challenge position was the Heirophant, and the first sentence in that card’s description was to make the invisible visible… I think this card applied directly and wholly to Tarot, and a few other traits/gifts I’ve been exploring more openly lately… including the tree spirits.  I think this card also “held hands” with the Magician card, the two of them working together throughout the month. I’ve noticed more and more that people approach me, most specifically at work, asking for advice or mystic wisdom, or the meanings of certain things.  For the first 8-9 months that I worked at this job, I was very private about my personal life and my belief systems.  But, something “cracked” a few months ago and I became an open book.  I was afraid there’d be an adverse reaction if people started labeling me “witch” or “pagan”, but the opposite was true… they’re intrigued by it.  Some of the girls I work with, actually, are already on that path on their own and take comfort in being able to talk about tarot or moon phases or planetary shifts or other realms and dimensions.  So yeah… the Heirophant was right on the money for June.

In the fourth position, Foundation, I drew the four of swords, encouraging me to spend time reflecting on old patterns and cycles from my past and to protect/shelter myself from outside influences, even if that meant getting away from it all for a while.  This was quite true… it even suggested I journal more, which I have been (naturally, not because the cards told me to).  There are cycles from my past, particularly in regard to love and relationships, that I’ve been reflecting on this month.  Things with T are still brand new, and they began happening at a time I didn’t think I could ever love or be loved again.  I’d made up my mind that I’d be a loner for the rest of my days, with the exception of my children.  Of course, that’s when opportunity strikes, right? When we least expect it.  So, I’ve been asking myself questions about the past… why relationships had failed, where I may have mis-stepped, what I could have done differently, whether or not I gave my heart away too easily and too completely.  I’m not saying I’ve come to any rock solid conclusions, but I sure have spent some time reflecting.  I also felt overwhelmed by life and outside influences, stressed to the max by my job, the potential move, my financial situation, and family dynamics.  I did end up getting away from it all… two weekends worth – one trip to T’s mom’s, and a second trip this weekend to his sister’s and his mom’s. I believe the time away, as well as the time I’ve been able to visit T’s house as a sort of retreat, is the only thing that saved my sanity.

Position five, recent past, I’d drawn the five of wands, suggesting that I’m moving out of a phase that was incredibly competitive and/or demanding – and one with little cooperation from other people/influences/sources.  This is true… and it reminds me of a comment I’d jokingly made to T’s sister over the weekend that, I think, shocked us all.  I’d never played “corn hole” before… the game where you toss little bean bags and try to land them in a hole in a wood base.  T’s family is big on this game, and after I’d had a few practice shots, I was looking forward to playing.  We decided to partner up, T and I on one team playing against his sister and her husband (both of whom are Leos, like me!).  T’s sister said three times in a row (probably assuming I didn’t hear the first two times since I didn’t respond), “You’re playing against two of the most competitive people there are!”  After she’d said it the third time, I grinned, looked at her and said, “You’re playing against someone who doesn’t give a shit.” – I meant it with humor, and most took it with humor… but in retrospect, I realize that I didn’t always view things in such a nonchalant “just do it for fun” kind of way.  My competitive streak seems to have dulled down. I don’t feel the need to be the best, the prettiest, the smartest… I just need to “be”. I don’t necessarily need to stand out or be noticed anymore, even though that “status” was a major part of my past.  It feels good to relax and just live life for its experiences without feeling like I have to “win” or “lose”. Then again, I’ve been in straight up survival mode for months, now, so that’s subject to change. *LOL*

Card six, higher power, was the six of wands, which I still find a bit perplexing. It spoke of accepting acknowledgement for my achievements, being recognized for my abilities… but I’m not sure how/where/why/when that comes into play.  Okay, maybe that’s not true… when I think about it, I mean really think about it, it all points back to T and the confidence he has in my ability with tarot, runes, dream analogy, intuition, and magick.  I do swell up a bit with pride when I hear him talk to others about my gifts, when he sets up readings for me with people he knows, and when he calls me at work on my cell to ask me for my blog address so he can share it with people who are important to him.  Honestly? This card points directly to how good I feel when he speaks highly and confidently of my abilities. It gives me the encouragement and confidence I need to continue evolving.  Hmmm…  who knew? *smirk*

Card 7, near future, 9 of swords… this one hit hard, and it hit in such a way that I will not discuss in a public forum.  This is one of those things I completely internalize and don’t even speak about with friends.  I know exactly what this card was pointing to, and the precise moment it came into play… and the subtle moments in continued to come into play throughout the month.  No worries, though… having seen the card in advance gave me a bit of strength to my shield.  I was prepared for it.  That’s not to say it didn’t rock my boat when it happened, but I was aware… and kept balance.

Card 8, blocks and inhibitions was the Death card – and again, I knew exactly what it meant.  Some things have to be allowed to die (metaphorically) in order for new things to emerge.  There were lots of parts of me, or in my life, that were not authentic and that, in the long run, were doing more damage than good… even if I refused to see that at the time.  But life has this funny, funny way of stripping us down to the bare basics and making us start over from ground zero, and that’s what the past three months have been for me.  April, May, and June killed me… on all levels except physically… and now that the inauthentic parts are being buried, life’s blessings have room to grow.

Card 9, Friends and Allies brought forth the Four of Cups and a friend who would help pave a new path.  Again, I believe this points directly to T in that when things were the hardest for me financially, knowing I’d not take a hand out, he provided several work opportunities for me to earn a little extra – either by way of Tarot readings or house cleaning.  He’s also introduced me to a whole new world of people, and a new way of viewing the world in general… without altering the way I choose to view it on my own.  Without expanding further, I can just say that yeah… I see this card’s energy, and I see it in T.

Card 10, Advice, suggested “Discipline yourself to stay focused on the desired outcome and you will make your way past all competing circumstances.”  I believe I”m still struggling with this one, and I think it has everything to do with the sale/purchase of homes and the upcoming move.  Nothing is solidified, I ran into complications with the loan, and we’re stalled.  I wouldn’t be surprised if something along these lines also surfaced for July’s reading since this issue has not yet been resolved and I’m having difficulty keeping the faith.

The final card in June’s reading, the Ace of Cups, was an incredibly hopeful and positive card. “…the long term potential of your situation points to bonding, mutual understanding and harmony. As this card draws together the influences of the other cards in this spread, you can be sure that hearts are opened, veils are lifted, and discarded vessels patched and filled. There is enough regard and approval to heal the hearts of the people involved.

Persevere with this situation no matter what it asks of you, because you will receive priceless training in how to follow the heart. You can trust this path and the people you are walking it with.” Was that accurate? *smiles*… yeah, I’d say so.  Here it is June 30th and I’m not at all concerned about my heart’s well-being and I’m confident in those with whom I’m walking this portion of the path.

June was hard… Rhythm left for Vegas, leaving Stinkerbelle and I behind.  The air conditioner to the house broke, the bills have all been past due, work was a major struggle, the home situation didn’t go as smoothly as I’d have liked… but I’m more than pleased with how the blog developed over the month, the time T and I had to nurture the new relationship, the time I’ve had to bond one on one with my daughter, and I’ve thoroughlly enjoyed exploring my world of magick, even when (especially when) the going gets tough.

Looking forward to July.

Life is good.


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This weekend, although we did go to T’s sister’s and his mothers, we weren’t able to go out on the 4-wheeler again into the woods for tree-spirit photos.  However, I did have an opportunity to visit an extremely enchanted tree. This was such an incredible experience – I’ve never seen anything like it, and yes… although my digital camera was absent of batteries, my iphone did a fine job of capturing the magick to be shared.

Osage Orange Tree Hundreds of years old, this tree was larger than life. It was inside of a park area and although I had no idea what we were turning in there for (other than, “Oh, you wanna see a tree?”), I spotted it as soon as the truck went through the gate. I couldn’t wait to get out for a hands-on experience with this magnificent wonder… and though I was able to catch a few precious snapshots, this tree holds many more mysteries than I was able to capture in a short visit. As quickly as I could, I made my way from truck to tree, slipped out of my flip flops, walked around the perimeter taking a few photos, then climbed on. If ever I get the chance, I’m going back… at a time when Rhythm can share the wonder, and will do a better job with photographs. This was definitely one of the highlights of my trip! All of these photos are from this one enchanted tree.

DragonThis is the first “face” T pointed out to me in this tree… it’s on the side of the tree you first see when approaching from the parking lot.

 He described it as a dragon’s face, pointing out its two eyes, its nostrils, and its “snarl”.

It impresses me more than I can say that I’ve found someone who can “see” the same things I see in nature. I’m used to trying to explain or justify myself (silly girl!), trying to get others to understand that there’s more to life than meets the eye… and now I’m experiencing this part of my life with someone who understands because he can see the same things I do, and I’m deeply touched that he had the insight and the desire to introduce me to this tree and its many faces.

I really wish Rhythm could have shared this with us… although I’m sure he’ll delight in the photographs. He’s got a special affinity for dragons, and I think this face in this tree would have been quite the thrill for him. That’s okay, though… there will be a next time.

I’m sure the picture would have been lots better if I’d have had a digital camera, but the iphone didn’t do a bad job at all… I’m calling this picture, “Dragon Magick”.

DinosaurThis is a neat one here, very distinct and emerging from the tree. The wood on this part was a lighter shade of brown, which really made the face stand out even more… and rather than being set in the trunk itself, this one is sort of protruding so it had a “coming at ya” appeal.

This reminds me of a dinosaur head… a vegetarian dinosaur.

He’s got a pensive look in his eye, almost as if he were questioning, “Friend or Foe?”.

Friend, of course.

Because of his supposed vegetarian status, I’m calling him “Herb”.

This next one is a turtle.

Tree Turtle

Gater, Snake, FishThis one’s what I call a “threefer” – three faces for one photograph. The most obvious, at least to me, is what looks like an alligator with its jaws open wide and preparing to clamp down. Just above the gator face, though, I can see the shape of a snake, and below the snake, a fish… it’s like this was the aquatic portion of the tree…

Then, if you look in the upper left corner of this image, there’s another face… that of an old man.

Actually, the more I look at this shot, the more I see…

Last but not least, here’s a shot T took of Stinkerbelle (left, standing) 
and me (baseball cap and barefoot comfort!) bonding with this tree’s energy.

Stinkerbelle and me in tree

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Unfortunately, I’m out of time and can’t outline the other influences.  It’s a significant day, too, with planets shifting and the moon slipping into her fourth quarter.  I’ll have to be content with the day’s Fairy and Tarot card and let the rest go for the moment. However, for those who are truly interested in the dance of the planets, I can highly recommend the blog Grandtrines. It’s a remarkable resource, well researched and well presented offering information on all sorts of goings on with the planets and what it means for us in the long run.

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“Seven of Pentacles”

Seven of Pentacles

Well, well… I think this ties in nicely with this morning’s Fairy.

In this card, we see a man taking pause from his current endeavors. He’s observing the work he’s already done, pleased with his accomplishments thus far, but he’s taking pause because he’s not certain if he wants to continue with the project at hand. Something about his work has become spiritually dissatisfying and he’s contemplating change. He’s no longer satisfied with the mundane production process and the work at hand has become dull and dreary. He’s got a bit more to do before his job is done… but will he complete the task, or move on to something new? It could be time for a change.

The colors of his wardrobe are significant to me, even though I’ve never “learned” about them or referenced other sources. His top is orange… which signifies creativity. His sleeves and pants are blue, which indicates emotion. This tells me that whatever work this person does, it should be a creative endeavor that’s emotionally charged. He needs to “feel good” about what he’s “creating”, rather than simply going through the motions.

Although the suit of this card is pentacles, we see he’s also leaning on a staff, or a “wand”. The suit of wands represents new opportunities, new awareness, new insights, new ideas, new perspectives.

The seven is where I get the “spiritually dissatisfying” aspect of my interpretation. Sevens indicate an awareness of one’s own spiritual anorexia, and demonstrate a “seeking spirit”. It’s the awareness that we need to get back in touch with our spiritual Self.

Here’s what the other sources say:

This is from LearnTarot.com:

evaluating the status
reflecting on progress to date
reviewing what’s been done
pausing to check results
making sure you’re on course
finding out where you stand
taking stock

reaping a reward
finally seeing some results
enjoying the first fruits
getting returns on investments
receiving payoffs
being able to let up a bit
reaching a milestone

considering a direction change
weighing a different approach
pondering alternatives
thinking about change
opening to a new strategy
questioning your choices
standing at a crossroads

On the Seven of Pentacles we see a man who has labored long and hard in his garden. The foliage is full, the blossoms are out – it seems that his work has paid off. Now he’s taking a break to admire his handiwork. How satisfying it is to see such fine results! How rewarding is sweet success!

The Seven of Pentacles is a time-out card. It represents those moments after a rush of activity when we stop to catch our breath and look around. The man in the picture has paused to contemplate the fruits of his own labors, but he could also pick that fruit. In readings, the Seven of Pentacles can indicate a reward that will come your way, particularly as a result of your own efforts. Take it and enjoy.

This card is also a call for assessment. When we’re busy, we don’t always have time to reflect on what we’re doing and why. Are we still on course? Are we getting the results we want? Serious problems can develop if you don’t take stock at key moments. In readings, this card suggests that you take the time to be sure you’re meeting your goals.

The Seven of Pentacles can also indicate a crossroads. In life, there’s a tendency to continue with familiar routines. To go in a new direction isn’t easy. The Seven of Pentacles may be telling you to figure out if you need a course correction, or even a complete about-face. You’re not yet committed to a certain path, but you could be soon. Change is still possible.

The Seven of Pentacles is not a card of endings or final decisions. The game is not over, but only on hold for a moment. Once you’ve gotten your breath back and checked your strategy, be ready to jump back in and work even harder than before.

And from AeclecticTarot:

As the fives indicated a particular problem, so do the sevens. The fives were about loss, losing momentum, losing love, losing an argument, losing money. The question there was, “How do I deal with this loss?” The sevens are about finding yourself in a situation where you are not in control. Sevens relate to the Chariot, a card about finding and maintaining complete control and mastery over wild or opposing forces.

If the charioteer lets his horses run where they will, as they will, the chariot will crash. He not only has to have them completely in hand, but to win in a race or war, he must also control direction and speed. So, too, in life. You need to know not only how to take control but also how to direct the forces once you have them in hand. Sevens, like fives, are about overcoming fears and finding a way to succeed in a tough situation. They answer the question, “How do I take control?”

Seven of Pentacles

A farmer watches pentacles grow on a tree. Sometimes, there is no way to take control of a situation. The farmer waits for the fruit on his tree to ripen so he may harvest and sell it; he has very little control over when this will happen. All he can do is be patient. So, too, with waiting for a job offer or raise, waiting for work to pay off, or a new diet, waiting for lottery numbers to be read. Sometimes you have to realize that you’ve done all you can do. It is out of your hands now. All you can do is wait.

Ultimately, the sevens share that message, the farmer’s message: hold out, be patient, don’t rush, go around. Be in control of yourself and you can be in control of this situation.

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“New Opportunity”

New Opportunity

Oh, really?

New Opportunity is always a fun card to draw because she signals new work, new location, or something unexpected. I could hope for both right now, actually. I’m not happy with my job status even though I’m wanting to hold on to the job for at least two years just to establish good, reliable work history. I’ve been working at being able to move, even though it’s been more difficult than I’d have liked. Either way, I’d welcome a new opportunity. Then again, it may come from way out in left field, something I’d not even have imagined or thought of… which adds an element of excitement.

Here’s what the guidebook says:

Card Meaning: Be aware of a huge new opportunity being presented to you. It is safe for you to trust and enter into this new realm.

Description: A momentous opportunity is being presented to you. It could be in the form of someone making a business proposal to you, a new idea that enters your mind, or an investment opportunity. It could even come in the form of a loss, in which you are about to gain something even more suitable.

Even though you may feel intimidated or unqualified to move to the next level, be assured that heaven is reaching its hand through the window, guiding and protecting you as you soar upward. If you need help trusting the validity of the new opportunity, pray for spiritual guidance. You will soon believe in the trustworthiness of this gift, and you will know that you deserve heaven’s help.

Affirmation: I notice and embrace the new opportunities that are now in my life.

Source: Healing with the Fairies Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue, Ph. D.

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For the moment, I feel pretty good.  Not sure what went on with me last night, but I felt compelled to journey into the past and spend some quality time with Self.  It was therapeutic, really. There was a sense of discontentment, but I was aware of it and knew I was working it out.

Got good work done yesterday.  Did the cleaning with Stinkerbelle early, went to lunch with her, then came home and took a nap.  Dreamed vividly and recorded it, then got up and mowed the lawn.  It’s a big lawn, that’s an accomplishment to be proud of, even though I didn’t mow the bit at the bottom of the hill ’cause I couldn’t maintain balance and push the mower. While I mowed, Stinkerbelle worked on the laundry.  While she spent time on the phone with her boyfriend, I sifted through old journals.  We both went to bed early.

I don’t feel exhausted today.  It’s the first time in a while I feel like I woke up well rested, and I think part of that had to do with the comforting dreams of Pharaoh, which I’ve also recorded.  His presence sooths me.

Have a long work day ahead of me, but it’s Thursday, and Thursdays tend to be my best days financially, so while I”m still a bit tense over my current job relations, I’m looking forward to good earnings.  Heaven knows I need them. 

Am due to go out of town with T, but not sure if we’re leaving tonight or tomorrow morning.  I might not get out of work ’til about 9, home by 10, and it’s a three hour drive to where we’re going.  He’s got some work to do today too, so we said we’d play it by ear and touch base later in the day to work out a plan.  If we don’t leave tonight, we’ll leave in the morning.

Today is his birthday.  I wasn’t in a position to do what I wanted to do for him in the way of gifts, so it’s stressed me out a little bit.  I had wonderful ideas (thanks, in part, to his sisters), just no funds to back those ideas up with… and no time or tools to craft anything on my own.  He’s said repeatedly that he doesn’t celebrate birthdays… but I do, and it pisses me off that I wasn’t able to come through the way I wanted to. I could have tried to write something, but that felt inappropriate.  Something may come to me before day’s end.  Life has a funny way of working out that way sometimes.

I’ve got 40 minutes left to whip out a Daily Dose, then it’s off to work with me… my energy is high ’cause I’m excited about this weekend’s getaway.  I’m sure that will keep my spirits up at work.

Life is good.


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I dreamed of Pharaoh last night, and I know, at least in part, why.  Pharaoh was my black lab/goden retriever who is now buried in the back yard beneath a Sacred Heart rose bush and a weeping willow sprout.

Back in 2001, when I was getting divorced from husband number two who couldn’t stand animals, the kids and I decided that when we moved into our own apartment, we’d get one cat and one dog.  Their names came to us before they did.  We knew we’d name the cat Isis, the dog Pharaoh.  We knew they’d be rescues.

As soon as we’d settled into our new apartment, we went down to the animal shelter and asked for a list of all the animals that were due to be put down that day.  We went from cage to cage asking, “Are you Pharaoh?” Naturally, some of the dogs barked and yelped and panted… it’s like animals know when their time at the shelter is over and what’s coming.  Some of the dogs were terminally ill, some were badly wounded (as in missing an eye).  We wouldn’t have minded taking a “handicapped” dog, but the ones we saw weren’t “Pharaoh”.  We just knew.  I left the boys looking for dogs while Stinkerbelle and I went to visit the cats, following the same procedure, cage to cage: “Are you Isis?”

The boys came running to me in full-on excitement.  “We found him, Mom! We found him!”

I walked with the boys back to the dog kennel as they led me to Pharaoh’s cage.  On the cage, a sign written on a red, cut-out heart that said, “Huge heart.”  I looked into the cage, the dog looked back at me, and I asked, “Are you Pharaoh?”  The dog barked a “Yes”.  He was already an old guy, but had so much love left in him to give.  As we left the shelter with him, I said, “Pharaoh, come…” and he did.  I said, “Pharaoh, sit…” And he did.  He obediently answered every command I issued and did not require a leash.

Pharaoh lived with us in our apartment for seven months, during which time we’d suffered a major car accident.  My eldest son was badly wounded and was forced to home-school for the remainder of that school year (this was before we started homeschooling permanently).  Pharaoh stayed by that boy’s side and looked after him with vigilence.  He was our guardian, our guide, and our friend.

He loved car rides, which was wonderful, because we soon decided to move to Tulsa and took him along for the journey.  He loved Tulsa, with the exception of the abundant fleas and tick’s Tulsa offered.  However, in Tulsa, he had a major incident.  I woke one morning and found him convulsing, foaming at the mouth.  We rushed him to the emergency room to find out he’d had a spinal condition where his back bone was literally growing straight, fusing the vertabret together.  We were told to put him down.  We refused.  I looked up all sorts of holistic care for him, practiced massage on him, played him special music, used specific colored blankets for healing.  He never had another episode of convulsions, although his condition did worsen over time.

He moved back to Vegas with us when Tulsa turned out to be a nightmare, and from Vegas he moved with us to Kentucky.  Here is where he developed cancer and grew a tumor the size of a grapefruit on his tailbone. I nurtured him the best I could, cared for him with all my might, nursed him to the best of my ability… but when it was time, he told me.  We had to have him put down in December of 06.  As a family unit, we buried him in the back yard with his favorite chew toy, his favorite blanky, and a lil’ something from each of us to stay with him.

I’m sure that my mowing the lawn yesterday and visiting his grave had everything to do with me dreaming him last night.

Every once in a while, we “see” him, or we hear his bark.  We can feel the familiar way he nuzzled our knees when he wanted attention.  No doubt he remains with us.

Last night, while surfing through old blogs, I read the tales of his last days.  I blogged regularly then and recorded every detail of life.  It doesn’t surprise me, then, that I’d dream of him.  Usually, when I dream of him, he has messages for me.  In this dream, it was as if he knew a move was pending and was encouraging me to seek care for the other dogs.  I’d planned to anyway, but it’s nice to know Pharaoh is looking out for his k-9 buddies.  I also think he knows that his being buried here is one of the reasons I hesitate in moving, and he was letting me know he’d be with us no matter where we go.  But, knowing that the ex is buying the house makes leaving a little easier…

In my wallet, I still carry a lock of Pharaoh’s fur, his dog tag, and his photo.

Thanks for the visit, “Fair-Bear”.  It’s always good to see you, Buddy.


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Misterbooks tagged me:

Write a six-word memoir. Post it to your blog including a visual illustration if you would like. Link to the person who tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogsphere . Tag 5 more blogs with links . Don’t forget to leave a comment in the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

My Memoir:



Who I’m tagging:

Lady Catherine (Because I think you’ll find value in it)
Urban Panther (Because I’m challenging you to do it in FRENCH! – 6 French words, English translation)
Spatulahandle (Because your creativity has been flowing freely)
Kleo (Because I know you’ll come up with something cryptic)
Dean (Because you know how to say so much with so little!)

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Intro: If I checked my calendars and sources, I’d know which natural disaster was taking place when I wrote this… probably the tsunami.  I wrote this back in 2004, but it’s another that rings so true to the “Five of Cups” Tarot card I’d drawn this morning, and with the way I’ve been feeling lately.  Something about dipping into my past is calming in my present.

 “Night Fog”
December 30, 2004

There’s a fog rolling in
Through the mists of the waning night
Wanting to know what it is
I’m hiding from
And whether or not I’m aware
That hiding is impossible.

Days on end I sit here
Chasing my own tail
Fighting to keep the head above water
While leaning into the flow
Of life’s currents and current
Needs and desires.

Somewhere is air, but where?
I ask myself half heartedly
Knowing that I breathe just fine
And that I’m not as lost
As it feels like I am
In the moment.

Mysticism seems far away
Determination is taking a coffee break
Ambition has grown wrinkles
Monkey mind clashes his symbols
And I try to find the signs within
But all I want to do is close my eyes

And dream the dreams that will not come
For other dreams are in the way
Visions of broken yesterdays
And the slopes down which people
Cast their judgments upon me
And the tomorrows that may never come

Thousands upon thousands dead in a day
And the grim reeper is still taking roll call
But here I sit with the handy dandy laptop
In my baby blue running suit
At nearly three a.m. with no clue
About what it is I’m feeling

The answers aren’t in the ceiling
No matter how long it’s studied –
Because answers cannot come
To questions yet unformed
Or validated
As important in light of it all.

Purpose is a funny thing
To man’s simple mind
But Earth begs to differ
As she swallows man whole
Then spits him back out upon
The land’s disassembled core

What is the core
Of my problem? Where has my mind
Wandered off to in this late hour
Momentarily relenting
From the constant barage
Of intimindating inquiries of
“Well what are you gonna do now?”

There’s a fog rolling in
Through the mists of the waning night
Wanting to know what it is
I’m hiding from
And whether or not I’m aware
That hiding is impossible.

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