Monday Morning

Didn’t even make it through half a shift yesterday.  Fortunately, another server was trying to pick up a shift, so I let him have mine – and then I called my mom from the break room, crying.  She advised me to go ahead and get today’s shift covered – she had a feeling I’d drive all the way down there, have the same issues, and have to drive all the way home – a major waste of gas, plus an inconvenience to my managers if they’d have to cover my shift with no notice.  I took her advice and had them cover today, but that just leaves me sitting here feeling guilty for not providing for my family.  If stress has anything to do with my current health situation, then this is NOT helping my case in the least.

I’m supposed to get test results today – and I plan on calling them every hour on the hour beginning at 9 a.m., which is about 20 minutes from now.  If this is what I’m dealing with, the Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, I mean, then I want to grab the bull by the horns and begin treatment aggressively and immediately — and if that’s not what I’m dealing with, then I want to figure out what the F is going on in my system so I can get it fixed!

The meds they have me on help to a degree – it doesn’t remove the headache all together, it just numbs it up a bit – and the muscle relaxers knock me clean out (so I can’t take those at work) – but even sitting here in my desk chair I feel like there’s a water baloon stuffed under my rib cage – I can physically feel it.  I feel it when I lay down…. I just want to know what this is and be done with it so I can return to my life.

I hate writing the whining poor me posts, but it’s all I can do at the moment.  I don’t have the energy to get into a Daily Dose, or to work on research for articles – although it’d be wonderful if I could be productive in some way while I’m not working at the restaurant.  This would be the perfect time for me to get some of my website content ready… if I could focus on anything!

I am blessed in that I’m surrounded by people who care, who would go out of their way to make sure we have what we need or to offer a bit of comfort. 

The dogs can sense that something’s wrong, and all four of them have been clinging to me for the past three days, especially Sirius.  They had been trained to stay off of my bed, but Sirius now jumps up there any time he thinks I’m headed that way – and if I do lay down, he tucks himself in to my abdomen, while Bella-Beltane tucks herself against my back.  They sandwich me.  And if one of them moves to go get a drink or a snack, the other two dogs fill in, Odin taking the abdomen, Honey taking the back.  I appreciate their healing energy and the constant love they surround me with.

I hate feeling incapacitated!

 

Nonetheless, life is good.

W