Not sure where my thoughts are this morning – they’re sort of fleeting. I’m not struggling quite like I was last week. Nothing much has changed, really – there’s not been relief in the financial situation, I’m still a bit in-side-out with the whole concept of romance and relationships, Rhythm is still gone, the home loan is still in limbo… but I’m not struggling against those forces like I was last week. Like the tree, I’m bending with the winds of time.
Not very pleased with my job at the moment. Yesterday was one of those days where it’d have been a bigger pay off to stay home. I served from 11:30 – 1:30, then was cut from the floor and sent on break to prepare for a mystery meeting at 2:30. The meeting was only supposed to take 1/2 an hour and I was to be back on the floor by three, but me and my mouth don’t know how to smile and nod passively for the sake of getting it over. Nope. No way. Not me. Unh unh. *shakes head*. I had opinions, and by golly, I was gonna share them. It was four o’clock when I finally clocked back in as server and was handed my station, but being that it was Monday, that was non-productive. I didn’t even hit the fifty-dollar mark for my efforts, which means I didn’t even earn enough to pay for the gas it took to drive to and from work. I’m having issues with some of my managers – and to add that to the already sucky financial situation, it makes the job that much harder to tolerate. I would like to stay at this job for at least two years, and I’ve only got one year (almost) under my belt, so that means at least one more full year at this job. If I’d been at this job for two years already, the home loan wouldn’t be in limbo right now. Tenacity with employment is what lenders look for – and since I was a home-schooling home-maker the four years prior to taking this job, I have no work history. But it’s harder than hard to wake up every day and go to a job you’re discontented with to make less money than you need to survive, and to not be appreciated in the least for your efforts. It breaks a person’s spirit.
Drove by T’s last night, but didn’t stay long – long enough to eat one of the world’s best pork chops (the man works magick with a grill and some salt and pepper!), view the photos he’d taken of our trip to his mother’s (that is NOT a good picture of me!), and to drop off a faerie-clad envelope with a copy of graTeful in it. I’d debated with myself considerably over whether or not to even show that piece to him. Initially, I’d had my mind made up that I wouldn’t — but there was this Universal tug pulling at me that said it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t show it to him, so I sealed it in an envelope, dropped it on his coffee table, verbally gave him the intro of why and when it was written, and told him he couldn’t read it ’til after I was gone (how mature is that?). He walked me to Pixie Dust and home I drove to bring Stinkerbelle her way over-due supper.
Fell asleep rather quickly, but woke several times during the night… once to use the potty, and the rest because of dreams. I don’t remember what I dreamed, really, but they were exhausting dreams. I slept in an hour later than usual because today is a late and short shift for me (3-8 as opposed to 11-8), but woke feeling like I hadn’t slept at all. The coffee sure is good this morning, though.
I’ve a few errands to run, but I don’t feel in any hurry to run them. I think I’ll sip some more coffee, smoke another cigarette or three, work out this morning’s Daily Dose, then do what I gotta do.
It’s a strange day… I can tell. Yet, in spite of that…
*smiles and nods*
Life is good.
W
Good Morning!
I can totally sympathize with you on the not being happy with the job…I worked in a daycare for six years…I loved being around the kids and especially the babies. I was even able to bring my kids to work with me and that was such a blessing, since I was a single mom, but after a while I got burnt out(not with the kids, but the employees) and found myself hating to even think about going to work. I was always stressed and tired…and under-appriciated… and that’s putting it mildly, I was not happy.
In October last year I quit and went to work for my best friend as a homemaker/companion. I help her do housework, keep track of her medicines, take her to Dr. appointments, and keep her company…I totally enjoy my job now. Since my boss is my best friend I get to take my kids with me too and we get to do a lot of things that I didn’t get to do while I worked in the daycare.
I hope you have a better day than you did yesterday…Have a good day!
Most days, I actually like my job. Well, I like it in that it’s familiar, and that most of it only requires an auto-pilot mentality. But some days, the stress levels just sky-rocket and the financial rewards plummit and I wonder what the heck I’m putting in all the effort for.
I like the fact that it’s a physical job. I’m not so good at sitting at a desk for hours on end – unless it’s my desk at home and I get to be in my pajamas. However, I don’t like the fact that the physically demanding job isn’t very understanding about the occasional need to sit down. I work long shifts… longer than most, so I tend to want more “breaks”. We’re not allowed to sit down anywhere except the break room, so it gives the impression that I’m taking more breaks than I should.
Anyway, a good weekend away should cure my sour mood and I can return to work feeling refreshed and ready to rock!
Thanks for the understanding!
W